Imperfection

I met this person one day and he changed how I view the world and how I want to be viewed by others. I have never had someone capture my attention so well for so long.

In this world there is a right to every wrong, a male to every female, a black to every white with gray in between. Time is a thing: our past, present and future all exist now, all at once. We make these choices, we call free will, but yet our lives are already predetermined. All roads lead to where you are going to end up anyway. Whatever if they hurt or help you along the way. The choice is yours and the results make who you are today.

All the things I have been thru and all the choices I have made, I have made circles in my life, but I have experienced more than I have ever thought possible. One thing I didn’t do was completely love a person with all the bad and good that he/she has… I am not perfect.

Looking back on all the experiences that have made me, me. I love being me and I would not trade or give the parts I gain from being with him. I change my mind so much that I’m afraid that eventually I will forget it or worse lose it.

Some say that I come off strong or I have something to prove.... I think now I just was trying so hard for the people I met to never forget me.... if that makes sense. I don't want to show that I am better than anyone else, I am not perfect and I don't expect perfection from anyone. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am normal most of the time, except when I am around people I know and trust, and then you can't get me to shut up!! And I believe that before him I have been building a wall that no one could jump. The few who have climbed over it, I loved those people most of all but only HE could jump my wall.

I care too much and love everything and everybody, but few have seen what I have inside. I always try to be there for people in need.... I sometimes end up fighting, especially with myself. Sometimes in life you need to change and sometimes you need to let go.... but how do you do that now when you have come to love so much and know what is to be loved?

The thoughts in my head run deep and I beat myself up over a lot of stupid things, but I don't show it all the time. I guess I am good at hiding my troubles from people who will never understand what I feel.

All I have come to know is that you only have one life and I want to live it to the fullest and love and be loved as much as possible.

The world if full of balance... a male to every female, a black to every white, a right to every wrong, up to a down, peace to war, dark to light and good to bad, happiness to sad.... Now that I’ve found it…most of all I want to keep my balance....my pair.

That day… I met this person, it changed everything... And yes.... I will never be perfect. I stopped trying to be. He knows this but he loves ME this way.