How can I go? 2008/08/15

I know what I have to do. You know what...it was a lie. I'm sorry. I wanted for you to feel better and say that I won't go! I'm sorry again I lied. I know you want me to stay but we are kidding ourselves. You know I am have my handcuffs and that I could never be free. So what made me say that...well...I know you have you're test and I don't want to give you one more thing to think about. I wish I didn't care but I do. I gave you so much pressure lately that even I am afraid. Why can't we be just like before...don't care about anything...don't get angry and be OK? I know some thing had happen and I know we are different. My bottom of line is ... I don't know ...there is no bottom...this is a story with no end, no bottom...or even if there is an end to it...I DON'T KNOW IT!