我的爱

我错过您的眼睛
我错过您的微笑
我错过您的亲吻
我想念您全部

在我找到您之前，我失去了
我从未想要让您走

去年您带来了我幸福
明年带来我名字
您的名字

Happy birthday dear Blog!

Today this blog has its birthday. 5 months since it was born but not even close to our love. I made this blog for you but I never thought it will become so important. Sometimes often sometimes seldom I took the chance and express myself through this blog. Maybe sometimes I said things I shouldn’t have and maybe sometimes overreact. You made this blog remember? You taught me how and what is this. The first post was 7/30 and at that time, so clear in my head now, I wrote all I thought and all my feelings. I loved you for so long and whatever anybody would say, I fell in love like no other. I loved your words, your attitude, the cool way you stand up and the way you have your own glass. Little by little, piece with piece in my heart a great love began. Every moment spent with you became priceless and every word and move closer and closer to you became a treasure.
I thought and I still think you were special. Don’t get me wrong, I met many people in my life. Some good some bad, but I can tell which is special and which not. I am not an expert but you had more than other people have. Ok, I admit. Underneath the hair and pink shirt I could see a sexy guy. Your look and your attitude are still wild babe. Were, and still are. But that’s not all.
I saw in you…hm… I saw ME.
I saw somebody who had everything who knew happiness and who wanted to be happy but…this life just wouldn’t give it to him.
We both had a not so easy life …but we turned up ok. But still, on the way, we lost something…we lost us. We lost our happiness. Didn’t you ever feel that you lost yourself. People around you can’t tell but you for some reason are just walking, talking but not happy. You were me and I was you so it didn’t take too long to figure out we were meant to be.
Working at first, mailing after and end up kissing you is my life’s story. Never ending story is my story. My story is you and the things I did with you.
Everybody has a life story…please this be it.

You & Me

“I know that I am writing this with no meaning maybe...I know by the time you will get it, it will be too late but...I feel really bad and I just can't stop thinking I wish you were here. I just know that if I am with you somehow everything is OK. I want to tell you now that maybe this is bullshit or maybe tomorrow I will say it didn't happen or I didn't felt that… But now I tell you…coming to Taiwan was a great opportunity for me. I took the chance and came here. Job's great money let's face it-not so bad...people are nice....but it doesn’t mean anything to me. Money can be made everywhere, people are people good and bad all over… the only thing that matters is YOU. The only thing important I have here is YOU. I come to work to see you and when you're not there I don't care about anything. Being with you, even if for just a while it's enough. I found again something that I thought was gone. I know it's dramatic and that I sound like an old canceled TV program. WHO CARES? This is how I feel now. Happy to have met you, happy to be by your side and happy to carry you in my soul forever

Yours, Maya”


This is how it sounded that time. Now after more than 5 months...nothing changed. Reading my own words is making me accept the fact that if I could turn back time this mail will be same. Just in addition,,,,"P.S. I will never leave your side..."

My angel

I often dream that I search for you in the night,
Among thousands of sighs, among hundreds of whispers,
So many faces I know…and here you are, in a lonely corner,
A corner in my dreams room I find you, in a shadow
You stretch your hand to me through the cold mist
And your warm I can feel, a cold chill runs through my veins,
With hot lips you kiss me warm and sweet,
My lips are burning with desire just like I had kissed the pouring rain.
But why your face I can’t see clear, why you are shined by a lighting,
Then all made sense to me…nobody can see the face of an angel.

Condition

What do you want from me?
How would you like me to be?
I know almost nothing about you
I don’t know even if you love me.

I wish I could meet you
Look you in the eyes
I wish I knew if you love me
And have I set your heart on fire.

If you should love me, I’ll love you too
And even if you feel no more
Yesterday, today and always
I’ll love you if out there’s sun or if it rains.

More than human

What was God thinking when He made you,
Was He trying to make another God or why you are so perfect?
Was He thinking of stars, the moon or sea
When He made you a soul from them?

Was God’s wish to do something better then him?
Did he work thousands of years to build you?
How many years did he gathered so much color
That you now look brighter than the passion.

I think He took from every human being
A little piece of charm and with care
He build hour by hour second by second
Until he finally made a delicate half blood,
a human with looks of a god.

Sweet 12/24

A quarter of century has pasted and here you starting another. I wish I could be there for you, meaningless maybe, pointless maybe, annoying maybe, but there. My heart trembles when I see your face your smile your lips and your loving eyes. Yesterday was maybe too much but even that from love and even that felt good. All is and all does when you are around me. This feeling can’t be replaced by any other.
Happy birthday my love and may all your wishes come true. I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Take me away

this time what
I want is you there
is no one else
who can take your place

this time you burn me
with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
take me away

I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let me stay here alone this time
what I want is you there
is no one else who can take your place

I've seen enough and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
take me away
take me away

I've got nothing left to say just
take me away

A place in time

This song is for you...for me...for us.

My life's 1 %

Six. Six more days to go. Six more days of horror. Why seems so long and why does it seem like the end is so far?
Where are we all heading and why? We’re trying to stay alive and fight…but for what? What is it that waits for us at the end of the journey? The answer? Nothing.
Human kind is made to deceive itself and the others around it.
Nothing is waiting out there and nothing can make up for it.
It’s just a long suffering waiting to suffer more.
There’s no such thing as trust and no such thing as pity or sympathy. At the end, at the bottom end is just a fight for survivor, and at the end every body will sell you if it would be for their own interest.
The movies with the soldier that doesn’t tell the military secret even if he is tortured for hours, and the stories about the parents that stay with their sick children and never give up...or the fairytales about the life partner that shares everything with you and never does you harm…let’s face it.
It’s all I our head. It’s just something we made up on the way to makes us feel safe and to keep each other in our own invisible shiny cube of glass making us feel we’re untouchable and protected from people’s evilness.
There’s no such thing as kindness so as sooner you realize, the better.
99% of the people in this world think only about themselves and will betray you at a bit of a second.
And then there’s …YOU.

You make me feel...real!

These days I learned that the only one who can make peace in my soul is YOU. Maybe sounds like a lie…maybe it is…but this is how I feel. Just when I thought I lost myself I found YOU and you made me find myself again. It’s all because of you…how ever sounds like flattery. Couldn’t care less.
Talking to you and listening to what you have to say…complaining to you and hearing your sweet laugh made me strong again. I don’t want to give up yet, not anymore, not now.
I don’t think I recovered or that I woke up from my depression, but I feel I died once and got born again.
My life is in your hands so please don’t break it.

Santa please hear me out...

And here we are...It's already December, one more month and this year is over. One more month, one more paper from the calendar, one more group of 31 days without you. So many things this month, for me, for you, so many moments we should have spent together, side by side, in pairs.
December was always my favorite month for receiving and giving presents...this year no present can substitute this pain. Having you would be more than a wish, more than a present, more than I could imagine.
I don't want a lot for Cristmas,
There is just one thing I need,
All I want for Chrismas ...is YOU.

One more day...

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park and we will watch the sunshine.
*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me some words and we could make fun of my pronunciation.
*Just for this afternoon, I will keep the telephone off and unplug the computer, and sit with you on the couch and you could tell me about baseball and how to play it.
*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a sign of bad attitude and we will go to the beach and sun-bath until our skin gets burn.
*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you did before you met me and how many girlfriends you had and just enjoy every second of being your girlfriend for now.
*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to Starbucks and order two latte and laugh about how you can’t eat the cake.
*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how happy you made me every moment we were together and how much I love you. *Just for this evening, I will let you watch every girl in the pub and don’t get angry and don’t laugh about your neck-excuse.
*Just for this evening, I won’t let you sleep and we will stay up late and count all the stars.
*Just for this evening, I will stay beside you for hours, and don’t say a word just look at you and let my heart be full of love.
*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given-YOU.
*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day to spend with you.

Until you are in my arms again….

Like a Pair of Gloves

People are made in pairs. They were separated after that so they can search and find each other. Why? Because nobody can have happiness unless you fight for it. Nobody can have all unless you give up all you have for the moment. Nobody can live in peace unless you won the biggest race: the race for love. Hurry, we don't have much time. Did you find your pair?

My wish

I want to make you happy. I don't want you to see other couples and wish we were happy like them. I want you to look into my eyes and say "I know others wish they were happy like us."

Insanity

Lately I didn’t talk to you so much and I feel it in my heart. I feel something is missing and I feel things are changing around me. What’s was happening I wondered. It just hit me. Being in love can make you feel different, see different things you never saw before and see normal things in a special aura. My love didn’t change but apparently it’s been a while since you were close to me and we share some moments. Funny how some things can change huh? Being in love is, now I think, an insanity. Must be. How else will you explain a simple dog can become so precious and how a simple rain can be so sweet and how a 9 AM McDonalds breakfast can taste so good.
Being around so many sick insane people made me feel bad. I always thought better I die then become like them. Loosing your mind can be maybe the worst thing ever. Seeing people visited by family and not recognizing them makes you wonder what is this life meant for? Now I realize maybe love is insanity too. They saw flowers where there was nothing and they saw spiders on plain walls. Why shouldn’t we see sweetness where there was dark and why shouldn’t we feel happy when we were sad.
Being in love makes you mistake an ordinary man for a prince and an ordinary woman for a goddess.
I will love you and feel what I feel now forever. If not forever, I dare to say until the sun grows cold and the stars grow old.

u r free to do whatever you want.nobody can judge you.i steel want to see the pictures if you take them.I'm not angry nor I ment for you to get angry. sometimes some things are not ment to be said.

In coffee city, we borrowed heaven...How right!

Everyone's changing, I stay the same
I'm... a solo cello outside a chorus
I've got a secret, It's time for me to tell
That you've been keeping me warm

Just sweet beginnings and bitter endings
In coffee city, we borrowed heaven
Don't give it back, I've never felt so wanted
Are you taking me home?

You tell me you have to go...

In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else
In the heat of summer sunshine
I kiss you, and nobody needs to know


Now that you've left me, there's no returning
I keep comparing, you're always winning
I try to be strong but you'll never be more wanted
Will you make me at home?

Don't tell me you have to go...

In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else
In the heat of summer sunshine
I kiss you, and nobody needs to know

To sweet beginnings and bitter endings
In coffee city, we borrowed heaven
Don't give it back
Winter is coming and I need to stay warm

Martyr for love

Once I was astonished that men could die for their religion. In school we learn that many people died for their religion for the things that they believed in for the things they thought that are important. I have my religion too. A little different from everybody else. My religion’s rule is simple. What happened before we met, what was behind us and what there is to happen in the future are small things compared to what lies within us. NOW is the moment you should live never look behind never plan fantasies.
I don’t feel amazed about the people who died for their religion. I found my own religion. With you I found my religion. You made me find it.
Love is my religion and I could die for that.
I could die for us.
I could die for our love.

For you

Finding you was like receiving an award after a long hard race.
Living this life was like digging to discover a hidden treasure.
Our love was the most pleasant game invented.
Making love to you was the sweetest sin I tasted
Our moments spend together could turn age to youth.
Your kiss is like tasting May’s delight in a cold winter.

Do you remember?

Hey Sweetie,

I wanted to make it as a mail but I figured you won't check it.
It's 5.19 AM and I can't sleep. I am so tired but my eyes can't shut. I am thinking of many things but mainly...Do you remember our kisses? Today I thought all day about that. Even when I went ballet don't know why I can't stop thniking about that. I remebered how slow we kissed and how you told me you never kissed like this before. I was happy that time. I am so happy you think I showed you a differebt kind of kiss. This makes us special, right? I think of how good and sweet your kisses were and how we use to stare at each other and don't talk. Just like you said, I thought only in movies it's possible. Oh, how I wished I could kiss you once again. I am so afraid I would never kiss you again that I don't know what to do. This month passed so hard despite the fact that I act cool and try to say something positive I feel this month was so fucking long. I miss everything that we did and I regret so many things. If only I could turn back time...
I would change so many things. I wouldn't get angry of all the small things I did and I wouldn't waste any second of being far from you. I wished...but for what?
What can I do now. Just complain like always of the things I didn't do or I shouldn't have done. No point.
So late for that.
All I'm left with is a memory to keep me up at night and a T-shirt that reminds me how people can screw up their lives.
I love the day I met you and I live again in my mind every second I spent with you. Your lips, your touch and your kiss are wonders of this world that only I have known.
Your love brought me happiness and the warm of your heart could make 1,000 souls go to the hell and back just to be with you again.

For us, The Dragons.

When Capricorn Dates a Capricorn

When two of the same signs hook up, there's an immediate attraction and familiarity. For two Capricorns, they share an appreciation for each other. The problem is, Capricorns tend to be controlling and take-charge types. An outsider wouldn't immediately know this about Capricorn, but another Goat knows they have clear ideas about boundaries and power. They have the same ideas. So who takes the lead? That's easy - Capricorns take turns if they want a balance they can both live with. Flip a coin to see who goes first.

Capricorn's Story 2

Capricorn and Independence:
Capricorns are very independent because they know their capabilities and therefore they rarely trust others to finish details, they like to do it all themselves. Capricorn is the longest of all zodiac signs.
Capricorn and Friendship:
The Capricorn is the strong friend, they will always be there to help, they are very sympathetic, caring and helpful to a friend in need. A Capricorn will get someone back on their feet again, will cheer someone up and make him feel better in a second and for all this, they expect nothing in return. The Capricorn friend is deep and mysterious and there always seems to be something going on in their mind.
Capricorn and Business:
The Capricorn personality is that of leadership and achievement, they always want to be the best they can be. Capricorns have excellent sense of time and manage it very well, they are excellent organizers. Capricorns are very creative, not spontaneously creative but it is incorporated into their time management skills and their ideas for executing a plan. Capricorns make good, wise investments because they look at the long term and what will be the most beneficial down the road.
Capricorn and Temperament:
Capricorns might seem weak and soft because they live by self-discipline and responsibility. They evaluate everything and they don't take daring chances without weighing the advantages and disadvantages first. To the onlooker, they might seem boring and other signs mistook this for coldness, but another Capricorn will see the loving laughing cheerful person inside. They are not as cold as they seem, this might be apparent just because Capricorns like to do everything themselves. It is all about control of their surroundings and their daily lives. They believe they can organize other people's lives too. According to Capricorn, there is only a right way and a wrong way to do things and this idea makes some Capricorns closed minded, stubborn and hard to agree with others.
Capricorn Deep Inside:
Capricorns have this sense of necessity for work because inside they feel they are unworthy and need to continuously prove their worth. Once they realize that all they need is self-love, door will open and they will see the world in a new light. Capricorns most important need is security, financial and material security. This is the driving force behind their ambitious character. They are very concerned with their public standing and their prestige. Capricorns are loners but they also need to feel appreciated, but they are excellent at hiding this truth. Capricorns have many faces they present to the world, they may never know who they really are. This causes feelings of insecurity and causes them to question their own self worth. Capricorns have many relationships but they don’t get close emotionally because once they let someone in, they do not want to let them go. They try to keep it as a basic love and hardly do they fall in love.
What it's Like to Date a Capricorn Woman:
Deep inside, she is romantic and loving but it takes the right man to expose this. On the outside, she may seem like she does not care much for love. The Capricorn woman is perfect for the man who likes a challenge. It will take time to get closer to her, never make her rush into a relationship. Be patient because she is. Capricorn woman is very classy, upscale woman. She will dominate and control the relationship but in her subtle way, let her take the lead, she won't take you in a wrong way! She will lead the relationship in the right direction because she is smart and practical. She will offer you a long lasting, real, loyal relationship with all the right ingredients for happiness.
What it's Like to Date a Capricorn Man:
The Capricorn man is very physical and passionate, but not emotional (on the outside). Deep inside he yearns for love but this takes a long time to become reality, he is very reluctant to place trust in another person. Show him how much you admire him and earn trust gradually over time. He is very faithful, probably the most faithful of all zodiac signs. Underneath his secretive mysterious nature is a romantic streak with a strong sensual side, this side is completely hidden and once unlocked, you'll be amazed at the transformation this man has undergone! Patience and trust is key with a Capricorn man, he has so much to offer the right woman who will wait for him.
How to Attract a Capricorn:
Make them laugh, they tend to be melancholy so anyone who can make them laugh is appreciated. Talk about anything. They like listening to your emotions but don’t like to tell theirs. When Capricorn feels safe, they will let you know about their secrets. They like gifts, not gaudy and expensive but practical and useful. Plan a fancy date in a fancy restaurant. Never be late. Capricorns are very punctual and live by a schedule and they do not like to be kept waiting, it shows irresponsibility. Be patient with Capricorn, underneath that indifferent outside lies, passionate loyal person that will come out when the time is right, once you have proven yourself.
Sex With a Capricorn:
Capricorns like nice, classy surroundings and a comfortable atmosphere. In the bedroom, they will last all night and want some more. They are very physical and good at what they can do. Do not expect any creative or zany positions, but expect it to be good.

Capricorn's story 1

1. Good points

• Practical and prudent (maybe practical but not so prudent)
• Ambitious and disciplined (we had the ambitious to get this far)
• Patient and careful (maybe they talk about you at this)
• Humorous and reserved (yeah, we really had a laugh didn't we, love?)

2. Bad points

• Mean and jealous (no need for explain i guess, anyway mean-YES and jealous-just at every single FRIEND you have)
• Pessimistic and fatalistic (this one checked too, we always thought bad about everything and everyone-except us,huh?)

3. Capricorn loves

• Reliability (is it?)
• Professionalism (in bed, haha)
• Knowing what you discuss (you know how angry I get if u don't get me)
• Purpose (tell me why you went to that girls house on her birthday? WHY?)

4. Capricorn hates

• Dishonor and shame (hate of looking worse than you)
• Lies and fantasies (?)
• Feeling ridiculous (I never looked silly in front of nobody and even if I did, who cares?)

5. Problems in Capricorn's life

• PROBLEM: Having people take advantage of you and your good nature.
• SOLUTION: Try being more careful with your favors, and putting number one first for a change.
• You know my point right? My car and so on....
• PROBLEM: Refusing or separating with people. The Capricorn never gets turned down. He will always end a relationship and can keep the partener as long as he wants.
• SOLUTION: Make wiser choices. Think of the other person's feelings.
• The solution is...keep doing it. We should keep braking up with people. Nobody said NO to me or to you. And nobody broke up with us. Not even hang up the phone. Oops...somebody had this experience...
• PROBLEM: Getting too tired out and not finishing projects that you have in the works.Giving up if you have more important things to do
• SOLUTION: Try not to overload yourself with work and don't put personal matters before work.
• No no. They got it wrong. Always put personal matter first. If it rains cancel your class and if you want to stay with somebody cancel cancel cancel.

P.S. I apologise to the writers or horoscope for personal adding. LIFE GOES ON. WE ARE CAPRICORNS!!!!!!

NF

I talked to my friend today. I normally don’t talk to her but today I didn’t go out at all so I felt so bored. You know how I am if I stay inside. She talked to me about her boyfriend and that she is willing to brake up because he asks too much of her. We talked about money and nowadays economy and other things for grown-ups. She asked me how I was and how is my marriage. I said first that I am fine just that I miss what I left back in Taiwan. She didn’t get it so I moved on. I am trying to live my life and don’t think too much about Taiwan. She still didn’t got it so I just said “Hey I thought you were smarter than this. Do I have to say-IT’S ABOUT A GUY so you understand?” Then she sent me a shocking face and asked me what’s wrong with me.

What can be wrong? That’s the problem. Nothing’s wrong. Everything was perfect, right? I told her about how perfect you are for me and how nobody matched me like you do so far. And how you are Capricorn and understand me in every way. And how we laugh and that you have a sense of humor. She just advised me to forget everything and go back to my life. I think she is too afraid to live her life and kind of scared of changing. Too bad…I told her I expected more from her and that she is in my opinion NF. NO FUTURE…

The true things in life!

1. I said no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen.
2. Marriage is one of the causes of divorce.
3. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
4. To get born-free, to die-taxed.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
6. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
7. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
8. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
9. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
10. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
11. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
12. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
13. Someday is not a day of the week
14. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
15. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
16. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.


! *All the things you want in life are either illegal, expensive, or married to someone else.*

Long time, no see

Oh, it's been such a long time since I wrote anything in my blog.
Maybe I missed it just like I miss you.
Even if many things happend I don't have many things to say.
The best thing was talking to my mom maybe.
She seemed so happy to see me after a long time, and talk about my hair and how it looks and asked me if I looked impressed like she said to look about Kyoto.
Before I went there she told me:"Don't worry there's not such a big deal about Kyoto. You will go visit temples you never heard about and see old letter written by old people not even Japanese people know. You just look interested and don't say their tradition is boring OK? "
We laughed about this and guess what? She was right.
Kyoto is like that.Plus it rains a lot. But I wonder.Was it bad because of the city? Really because of that?
I remember some shity things or boring looked so big and interesting in my eyes when I was with you. Remember the spider on the woman's scooter? And remember how taking the bus in Kaohsiung seemed so fun and lovely and sweet? In fact it was just a little spider and just a bus. But you being there made them so big and important. I miss so much sharing with you all the details. I miss being happy about buying and wearing something, I miss us matching our clothes and I miss caring about the world around me.
Oh I wished you were there with me.I think I have so much fun. I think Kyoto would have seemed 100 times more beautiful. Just like Kaohsiung or Taichung.
I also remembered your last words to me: "I wish some day I can go with you to some other countries..." Yeah, I wished too. I wished I could grab your hand and take you with me.
Oh, my love, how much I miss you...

Far, too far away, too long...

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long

So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

I miss

I miss...
I miss the mornings I wake up early to get dressed for you.
I miss how grumpy I was and sleepy and how somehow all the bad feeling went away when I saw you. Just a smile, a Hello and the day becomes so shiny.
I miss how I would make excuses to stay around you, how I would pretend I need some copies, how I prayed J was not there so I could sit next to you.
I miss how I tried to touch you just a little...but even that was enough.
I miss how I waited for the brake to run downstairs and I miss how sad and disappointed I felt where you weren't there.
I miss how I would sometimes teach and mistake some words thinking maybe how beautiful it will be if I could steal you and run to the seaside and watch the sunset together.
I miss when we ate together the old same meat with rice and talk some nonsense.
I miss how bad I felt Fridays when I couldn't see you and how much I waited for Saturday to come.
I miss holding your hand and walking proud with you in the city of freedom.
I miss kissing you in front of dousins of people and feel good.
I miss making love with you and watching your lips and your lovely eyes.
I miss every touch of yours, every smile and every kiss and all the love we shared.
I miss how I could never resist you, how even if my brain said NO, my body awakes from your touch and my heart needs to complete itself with some minutes of passion.
I miss your words, I miss how you complete my thoughts and I miss your care about me.

You said one day that you learned a lot from me.
I learn from you that life is not about being strong and facing the word on your own. If you love somebody you take care of him/her, you care when he/she cries, you try to help them even if with a bag or with cheering up, you laugh when she laughs and you hurt when she's sad. This is the love you taught me.
It's not always about 50%-50%. Sometimes when you love you take more than that. Sometimes even if you're tired you still ride her anywhere she wants even if it doesn't make sense,
Even if you hate it, you help her pack her bags.
And even if it brakes your heart, you stay with her to get a VISA for a place she soon will go.
Love is strange I say.
And also I know now...

Better to find love and loose it than never to have know what love is.

Loneliness is a sickness

If I only knew the mistake I would do…
Nobody knows until it happens right?
My love was right in front of me…
Could it have been too obvious to see?
Sometimes you can’t see the trees because of the forest. What did it mean this say?
We look for love and happiness all our lives and when is right there, at a quarter of inch…we ignore it. How would have known that the best thing in life is seating on a chair and with not such an outstanding outlook is typing some things and moving some stuff and looking exactly for the same thing – LIFE.
Who would have guessed that underneath a normal shirt is hiding such a passion man?
Who knew that behind the hard and cold stone he built around him is a sweet soul just waiting to enjoy life, to smile, to be happy and to give himself to the one who brakes the iceberg.
My babe is that person. A simple soul from outside. A marvelous heart from inside. Braveness is not about facing hard things braveness is about giving all up in time of need. Braveness is a word used by many but understood by few.
Being brave doesn’t mean to stand with the wrong person, brave means to have the courage to stop, look back, understand is wrong and say – NO MORE.
10,000,000 people are dealing with cancer right now. Hard I think.
But 2,000 of them prefer to take an operation in which they could die.
Why?
Because life with pain is worse than death.
They prefer to stop and die than to live a life with no taste no happiness and no joy.
Why can’t we?
Normal, simple people are braver than the rich.
Why? You already know.
Rich people are afraid to die. Afraid to loose possessions.
Simple people know the true meaning. Possessions are not what you earn or save or buy. The true things you have in your life are family, friends, people around you, the person you love and happiness.
Live your life like is the last one. Judge and do the right choices without looking back. Mistakes may be, but this is not the end. A new life begins every day. Making a mistake and saying “I’m sorry” are daily things. Even if a person dies in the same second another baby is born. Life’s circle never stops. Why should we?

It's time for us

I need, baby I need your love right now
And I want, baby I wanna show you how
C'mon, you know that we've waited long enough
And now it's time
Time to be lovers.
I tried, tried to be only one with you
And it's hard but baby it's worth it all for you
And it hurts, making me wait for you this way,
I can't go on.
I know we haven't known each other long
But still something so right just can't be wrong
Besides, it ought to be up to
Me and you.

I don't wanna say "I love you"

Let me not say I love you,
Although you know that it is true.
That phrase has been so much abused,
Misunderstood and over-used.

Let me say rather "I think you
,Breathe you, taste you, feel you, dream you,"
That you help make each day complete,
And life has never been so sweet.

My dream...

Silently she wakes up and looks at him sleeping.
She sees him sleeping peacefully and wants to hold him near.
She reaches out her hand to gently touch his face.
Remembering short hours ago, they shared the love's taste.
He feels her just then and open his eyes.
They stare for a while.
Then he places his hand over hers, feeling happy to see her care.
Their eyes never leave each other as she starts touching his soft skin.
She smiles at him slightly as she moves closer to him.
He takes her in his arms and kisses her on the lips.
They kiss so slow it looks like the world has stopped.
So sweet and warm the kisses are and such a lovely morning.
A subtle moan escapes her as his hand moves down her body.
Passionate kisses intensify while the rhythmic dance begins.
He proclaims his love for her. He can't stop. She doesn't want him to.
They smile as their body shivers in pleasure.
A sweet moan and she's free. The love has captured her. She's his for all eternity.
He catches her eyes and asks her to have him.
A final moan and he stops.
Their souls and bodies match and like becoming one they taste the sweetness of their passion. They are in perfect harmony, together once more.

The passion's flame

A touch, soft and tender.
A whisper, full of desire
A taste of sweet surrender
As passion set their hearts on fire

A few words spoken between them
No promises to be kept
No lies will be told tonight
No looking back - no regrets

Waiting so long to hold each other
Such precious little time
Both in love, but having another
Is discovering love a crime?

Never the rain seemed so bright
June and his lips are to blame
She fell in love. Him too. Tonight
They lighten up the passion's flame.

Apologize

As life goes on, I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility.

And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me.

So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that I've done,

things that haven't occurred yet,

and things that nobody wants to take responsibility for.

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home

I was on the road and you were alone

I'm sorry for the times that I had to go

I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we

Could go back to when it was just you and me

I'm sorry for the times I would neglect

I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done

I'm sorry for the times that I was gone

I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware

That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

I’m sorry for getting angry everyday

I'm sorry for the things that I did not say

I’m sorry. You were the best thing in my world

And I was so proud you call me your girl

The last day...

She knew this moment will come. He knew it too. They both knew but still there’s something that doesn’t match. What? They knew it will come to this someday…but still…the question remains floating in the air. Why? Why did it come to this? Why can’t she stay?
It’s almost 12. The bus seemed so fast like horses with wings were caring it over the clouds. “I wish the time could stop” – she thought while looking in his eyes. “I think he wants it too. Oh, God, where are You now? Where are Your signs and why You don’t send a wind to blow all these surroundings? Make them all go away, make everything vanish. Why don’t you?” – she thinks so fast that somewhere in her brain something is ready to explode. She can’t stop asking WHY. Outside some trees some cars and some people passed by the cold bus move on with their life. Suddenly the question came to an end. The answer was right in front of her. Free will. That was the answer. Not even God can mess up with free will.
She made some choices in her life maybe more than other people had to make. Some good, some bad…no regrets no looking back. She felt proud of what she had done and she never bows her head in front of anybody or anything. Everything that happened before happened for a reason. Even the bad things. Except this one. No reason, no point, she wants to scream from her top of the lungs that she doesn’t want to go.
She looks at him. “When will I see you again?” she’s thinking. There was a song like this. But they met at the end of the song. Will this happen to them too? He looks sad but maybe he didn’t realize yet. No he doesn’t. Surely he doesn’t. He must never had somebody to leave behind and he must never have been left behind. So sad. She looks at him and knows the pain he will be put through. And still the back of her head the question remains. Why?
She wished she could scream and fight and become a giant and turn over the bus upside down. But then a lot of people will die…and she will die too…so what…she’s dead anyway without him.
The bus has arrived. The cold station looks colder than before. Looks like saying “Don’t go!” No, it’s just a normal station that doesn’t say anything. Even a wedding! A wedding! Now! God what are You trying to tell me? Am I that deaf? Or am I just to stupid to understand. She knows the answer is behind door number 2. Too stupid to realize what she’s doing. She looks excited tries to focus on her bags and complain maybe for the last time about small details. Run! Run!! Run!!! Something inside of her says. Too late. The train is coming. The journey was sweet. Even if the destination was wrong she could have her last moment of peace and sleep happy in the arms of the one she loves. How sweet can a moment be and how not important can everything around us be.
She’s thinking so many things and so many things happen around her. Already in the airport, already 14:00, already she must go. She still complains about being tired and sleepy and that she can’t eat. All her words seem so far and her heart is so loud. So loud and so annoying. “Give me a break!”- she wants to tell the heart that is ready to jump from her chest into the cool good smelling rose tea. “Shut up!” she tells the heart. But the heart doesn’t listen. And then…something happened. The heart calm down and it was all like a morning sunshine, warm and sunny, it was all…yellow.
Now everything is good. Peace and calm all around them. It’s time. She’s trying in hurry to tell him some words and tries to hold on to him as long as she can. Now’s words seem tasteless and nothing can make it right. The Gods have spoken. She’s going. While she leaves she looks one last time at the one who gave her the greatest moments of her life. She wants to yell “Thank you!” but it will sound as stupid as the face she has now.
That’s it. No point of fighting over spilt milk. One last look and one last wave for the two who were left behind.
“I’m sorry I must leave you behind!”
“I’m sorry I can’t come with you.”It hurts inside but she knows the heart must stay. Even feeling bad, let’s face it. As long as he has her heart, there is still a chance. Maybe the heart is the stamp that makes a paper legal, maybe the heart is a road between heaven and hell or happiness and disaster or maybe it they’re love’s alibi.
Who will ever know?
Good bye my love. My heart is with you always. If you need her she’s forever next to you, beside you, for good and for bad, to keep you warm or to protect you from the heat. In death and only death bring us apart.

Cold but no ice, please! 2008/09/30

I knew before and I remembered today how bad the ice can hurt.I know now how bad it feels to be ignored how bad some words can sound and how much it hurts to be NOT loved no more.It nothing I can do,,,Maybe better for you this way,,I didn't wanted for you to feel bad or sad or lonely after I go so I succeeded in making you not care about me. At least a little.I will however never forget Mr. Pink Shirt and how he reminded me what love and life are.I hope I made you a little happy these days and I hope you don't regret meeting me. I will thank God everyday for finding you.I might have lied about some things about my life but NEVER have I lied about what my heart felt. Telling you I LOVE YOU felt strong and I felt my heart jumps out from my chest.These days I tried so hard to...I just hope you move on with your life. I wish you find a good job and I hope I meant and I helped in some way.Life is making sense when you least expect it. Never say NO to happiness. Don't do the same mistake like others do. Take chance and throw everything away for love. Just for love! Nothing more important. Look who's talking, right?I give advice but I can't fallow? A problem I must live with every day.

breaking the 10 days ice 2008/09/29

Well...as bad as it is...still at least you finally wrote something.Too bad it's so cruel...well I deserve it so --- I'll keep quiet.

Hope 2008/09/25

If you love her listen good.
As soon as she comes to your life make her believe you will do everything for her.Most of all don't get her upset.If she fell in love with you, you can be sure she has on her a way to paradise. That way can be yours!She'll give you everything if you asker to, and she'll help you to learn how to hope. Tell her that she is your angel.Give her if you can the whole light from a star if you want her to love you from now on. When it will be hard for you in life, trust her.When yesterday's friends left you she will remain by your side.Tell her about you...there's nothing to hide.She will not want anything else, your heart will be enough.Love teaches you to hope.

The reason 2008/09/19

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

TO DO LIST 2008/09/14

Life is short...
1. Break the rules
2. Forgive quickly
3. Kiss slowly
4. Love truly
5. Laugh uncontrolled
6. And don't regret anything that made you smile.

The bitter waking up...2008/09/11

What is love?
A long reason for pain
Caz thousands tears I gave it
And yet she asks for more.
If she should whisper lovely words
And if she promises you heaven...
Don't trust and don't believe I tell you...
The up and down becomes as one
In your believe and in your heart?
It's just a lie and just fake words
Made up to make you feel alive
She follows you for weeks and weeks
And waits for you to make a step
She waits to see how much you take
Of this imaginary world she's made.
She follows day, she follows night
And when she sleeps the moon and stars
Watch over you prepared to strike you
If you should ever fall in love
Because she knows some day you will
Make this mistake she's waiting
And than watch out.
You're nightmare starts
Enjoy the sweet pretending taste or
Choose to free yourself and die.

missing you 2008/09/09

The big thing,The most important thing,The hardest thing...IS THAT I MISS YOU.Can anybody tell me how to stop this?I miss you every night and every morning and every second you are not here with me.I miss the love that made me feel...BLUE

the truth 2008/09/09

I checked a million times...write something for God's sake!!!!!What are u doing that u can't find time to write something?Whatever...I wait for you...ALWAYS...And I'll be there forever and a day...ALWAYSAnd when I'll die you'll be on my mind...ALWAYS...

te iubesc more and more every day 2008/09/03

te iubesc 2008/09/03

Rolling the dice... 2008/09/02

I know now life is just a game...A poker game... a cards game... a dice game...Anybody know any poker tricks?I could use them about now.Life is not a deep thing... is just a game in which if you play your cards right you just might WIN.Life is a cards game and we are just the players.You get a pair of dice and one chance to throw... it might be critical so play it good!You can play fair or cheat...If you choose to play fair...slight chances to win.If you choose to cheat...think again! You won't be able to do it forever...remember the other players are not stupid. They might catch you or might not. Can you take the chance? Can you take the risk? I see you are nodding. Go ahead! Let me just tell you...if you're caught...YOU'RE OUT OF THE GAME! No second chance, no dice, no cards.The only chance...THE DICE!If you're lucky enough you might win just by a roll of dice. Do you feel lucky?

never ever ending... 2008/09/02

even if... 2008/09/02

even if we are not together...we still areeven if I can't touch you...I still doeven if I'm drunk I still feel I LOVE YOU

Whatever happens... 2008/09/02

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The night would seem so long
With you I see forever now so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are

sad day 2008/09/1

How sad it is to see u don't get any mails…any phone calls…any signs...Was it so bad what I did or he's just sick of me?Anyway...sooo saadddd.

the season of falling leaves 2008/08/31

It passed a long time since we know each other. We shared maybe more than other people do in two years, ten years or I dare to say... in a life time.Maybe some things I forgot...maybe some things I haven't.Maybe the autumn that comes will bring more with it.Why leaves fall in the autumn?And why autumn is it called 'FALL'?Who or what is meant to fall?Is this the end of something?Or is it just a new beginning?A thing is sure...September has come. Who knows what is coming...

for you... 2008/08/28

SKY IS GRAY AND SEA IS BLUE
I DEDICATE MY HEART TO YOU
WE ARE A SOUL DEVIDED IN TWO PIECES
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY...
MY SPIRIT MISSES
YOUR TENDER TOUCH, YOUR HAZEL EYES
AND HOW MY PROBLEMS GO AWAY WITH JUST ONE SMILE.

I will! 2008/08/26

I try to think is not irony. I hope is not an ironical thing…It's not and it will not be anyhow a nice break...I feel really bad and I find it hard to talk about it...Don't worry about me...I will be OK. I always am.Just like I told you a long time ago...Nobody can help you and nobody can make it better...Why am I feeling so bad?Why so empty?Why so worried?And why can't sleep?Some questions I can't find the answer...It hurts...a lot!Where my happy days go?And what to do to get them back?I watched you all night and think what I can do and how...you were there but was I there?I felt like I was in another world...Maybe it's a curse and this is what happens when u do something you shouldn't do.Maybe...

No looking back, no regrets 2008/08/25

I know what I said and if I could turn back time I would say it again...No regrets...If it would have been just 'like' I wouldn't have go there with you.I know you are brave and crazy too. I hope some of it it's from me.You care too much and don't wanna hurt me? It's hard to control babe. I know it more than anybody...It's hard to try and do it. Don't worry so much. You don’t hurt me cuz I know you do it from your heart and you don't do it on porpoise.

What is blue? 2008/08/24

Ya...I am the only one that knows why an when these things are blue. Wanna know?The sky is blue for us. The sky is blue only if and when I wake up with you. It's blue just when we kiss our hellos and when we hug really tight and just when I think this morning should be forever. I need to apologize to human kind...you will only have blue sky if HE is there.The rain is blue. When? When you have your first kiss under it. The drops that ran down your hair made it wet and cold…but the fire that burns in my heart will dry them in a second. The blue of the rain covered us and made us safe. A kiss that was long waited…a kiss that was blessed by God.Being cold means also blue. When? When you touch me and when, just when you run you hand down on my body and my skin trembles under your touch. You ask me if I'm cold. Maybe. But is a sweet, blue coldness. It's just like an angel touch.My eyes are blue? Sometimes. Just sometimes. When? When I look at you MY LOVE. When I remember or think of you. When I eat with you. When I dream of you. When I make love to you. Look into my eyes. You will see the rain, the sky, the sweet coldness and the love.... My blue love.....My blue.....My blue is YOU.

I found another world 2008/08/21

Were you ever a child and ask your dad what is life?I did. He said 'You will find at the right time'.'Really?'-I thought. 'My dad probably doesn't want to answer, too busy to some things he has.Anyhow...I'll just wait and see....Were you ever a child and ask yourself who are you and where do you belong?I did. I thought I am a person like everybody else...I have to work or study...and I belong to my home...to my family....to my partner.Did anything change?Were you ever a child and ask God why we have colors and what do they represent?I did. He did answer back at that time. He must have been busy answering some other people's question...but I found out in time that green is soft and kind like grass...and red is hot so don't touch...white is bright and sometimes hides some heat...blue is cold or warm, ice or water, sky or sea and sometimes...my eyes.Do I still believe that?Life is not what you get, is what you made of it. You build it everyday just like it was a house. Sometimes you don't know what is next what to do or where to start...so you find yourself having just the floor and nothing else. When the night comes it's dark and raining. There's no place to hide, no where to run. Just wait for tomorrow maybe you would know what to do. Sometimes you build a room and even if your 'house' is not done yet you at least have where to sleep, where to be happy, where to hide from the bad words of people...sometimes you have YOUR PLACE. What is life? Life is something that passes too fast to ignore it. LIVE!!! Don't think of tomorrow until you thought about today. Life is short. If you live it do it now and do it fully. If you want to be a zombie that needs just water and food...think again...look at those people kissing on the street…they don't care about now, about money or about people staring...why do you? What is life? I don't know but I think it means being alive not STAYING alive. Was my dad right? Did I find out in the right time? Who am I? Too hard to answer. I am what I do, what I say and what I think. I am what I am and nobody can change that. Am I good or bad? Nobody can judge that and nobody can blame me for anything. I'm free and I control my life and myself. And if I don't...so what? Nobody explained me the rules and...who makes the rules? Send him to me...I make him rewrite them. Belong? You don't belong to nobody or nothing. The only thing God gave you and nobody can take it away except Him is FREEDOM. You have family that can go away, you have friends that can betray you, you have money that come and go like dust...all you really have is your freedom. You choose your life your lover and your home, you don't let others do it. Oh, and home...you say HOME to the place that makes you FEEL home. A house is just a house, HOME is not some walls and a ceiling! Home is some place you feel happy to return after a hard day at work. Home is where you find somebody glad to see you...home is where you choose to be.I think colors are made for a reason. I think God made them for something. I think that He made them for us to realize if we're happy or not.Think...when you were a child could you look at the sky for hours and find it beautiful? Do you watch it anymore? When is the last time you looked at the stars? When is the last time you laid in the grass and play with a lady-bug?Just like the song says "if you go you will take the colors from my life". Stupid line right? Not so stupid if you think about it. Have you ever thought maybe is true? When you have a bad day or you feel sad or when you think this life sucks...isn't everything gray, isn't everything black-n-white? Isn't everything without color? I don't know what is red and what is green,,,, but I know why blue was made.I know that the sky is blue.I know that rain is blue.I know that to be cold is also blue.And I know my eyes are blue.You know this things too and everybody else knows it...What's the trick? I am the only one that knows why and when they are blue....

Am I really what you want? 2008/08/22

I try not to think too much but I always do.Ha…strange right? I don't know what is happening to me...New feeling…Why do I feel like I need to know if I am right for you or not?

I hope you do OK tomorrow 2008/08/21

I know you are smart and easy to be liked so I hope you will do OK.If it was my choice I would take you and pass the exam.Whatever happens...like always I am here for you.Love ya babe

My final decision 2008/08/16

I know some day I have to go..You know it too...The truth is I went today to Kaohsiung.....I was standing in front of the building and thinking...WHAT AM I DOING?I can't do it babe...it was hard to make a choice but I know now...I feel that THIS is not a good time to leave.I still want to know you more we still have thinks to see and liveI won't promise or give you my word...I don't know how long...anyhow NOT NOW.You helped me and were there when I needed somebody...I know now you need me and I want to stay with youCan I?CAN I?

How can I go? 2008/08/15

I know what I have to do. You know what...it was a lie. I'm sorry. I wanted for you to feel better and say that I won't go! I'm sorry again I lied. I know you want me to stay but we are kidding ourselves. You know I am have my handcuffs and that I could never be free. So what made me say that...well...I know you have you're test and I don't want to give you one more thing to think about. I wish I didn't care but I do. I gave you so much pressure lately that even I am afraid. Why can't we be just like before...don't care about anything...don't get angry and be OK? I know some thing had happen and I know we are different. My bottom of line is ... I don't know ...there is no bottom...this is a story with no end, no bottom...or even if there is an end to it...I DON'T KNOW IT!

You are the world for me 2008/8/10

You might be just a person for the world but you may also be the world for a person...HAPPY to tell you that person is ME.

I crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed 2008/7/30

For all of you that do or don't know me...This is not a complain blog, is not a show-off blog or a happy-end one.This is a simple story of a short happy life.Who ever you are...you don't know me. Nobody does, sadly including me.Why am I saying this? Because I lived with the impression that I knew myself, I knew enough to get by and I thought that I can control things that concern me. Surprise! I couldn't.Life is strange, shocking you when you at least expected. Gives you sugar and honey and that a big spoon of bitterness made -they say- to wake you up. I don't want to wake up. Do you?I have a happy life...or at least I thought I do. Big mistake! Just when I thought life couldn't get better than this...something happened. What do you think? Good, bad, maybe? Hm...hard to say...In my defense I dare to say...I HAVE EVERYTHING...freedom, good job, not bad salary, good place to leave, friends(not many but enough), somebody who loves me...sounds a complete chain, huh?It should be...no normal person would want more. So what is it that I miss? What more do I wish for? What else could I want from life?Let's think...I see somebody in the crowd saying NOTHING. Oh, now they're two...five...ten people. But I see YOU, sir, on your lips there's a word trembling down. What? I can't hear you. Speak louder please! Oh...PASSION. Yes, my dear friends. The good sir in the pink shirt is right. You're all wrong...you don't have anything unless you have passion. I see some sour faces and some lifted eyebrows in the audience. You blame me...I pity you! It's better to find passion and lose it than to never know how it feels.Passion goes away you tell me? So what do you live for? Money, fame, respect, pride?...Good.I envy you. Trick is ...how do you sleep at night? Money under the pillow? Do you respect the person who invented MSN so you can Chat with other empty people at 4 o'clock in the morning? Do you take pride in being a cool business man with a 10 times higher salary ?I go to sleep thinking how good the coffee is at Starbucks, how good can taste a first-kiss when outside it's raining, how a ring tone can lighten-up my day... and I wake up thinking I have a reason to put on make-up at 8 o'clock in the morning because somebody waits for me and tells me 'You look good today'.This is why I live for. What do you live for?