I miss

I miss...
I miss the mornings I wake up early to get dressed for you.
I miss how grumpy I was and sleepy and how somehow all the bad feeling went away when I saw you. Just a smile, a Hello and the day becomes so shiny.
I miss how I would make excuses to stay around you, how I would pretend I need some copies, how I prayed J was not there so I could sit next to you.
I miss how I tried to touch you just a little...but even that was enough.
I miss how I waited for the brake to run downstairs and I miss how sad and disappointed I felt where you weren't there.
I miss how I would sometimes teach and mistake some words thinking maybe how beautiful it will be if I could steal you and run to the seaside and watch the sunset together.
I miss when we ate together the old same meat with rice and talk some nonsense.
I miss how bad I felt Fridays when I couldn't see you and how much I waited for Saturday to come.
I miss holding your hand and walking proud with you in the city of freedom.
I miss kissing you in front of dousins of people and feel good.
I miss making love with you and watching your lips and your lovely eyes.
I miss every touch of yours, every smile and every kiss and all the love we shared.
I miss how I could never resist you, how even if my brain said NO, my body awakes from your touch and my heart needs to complete itself with some minutes of passion.
I miss your words, I miss how you complete my thoughts and I miss your care about me.

You said one day that you learned a lot from me.
I learn from you that life is not about being strong and facing the word on your own. If you love somebody you take care of him/her, you care when he/she cries, you try to help them even if with a bag or with cheering up, you laugh when she laughs and you hurt when she's sad. This is the love you taught me.
It's not always about 50%-50%. Sometimes when you love you take more than that. Sometimes even if you're tired you still ride her anywhere she wants even if it doesn't make sense,
Even if you hate it, you help her pack her bags.
And even if it brakes your heart, you stay with her to get a VISA for a place she soon will go.
Love is strange I say.
And also I know now...

Better to find love and loose it than never to have know what love is.